I spent years trying to understand my way to transformation. Philosophy, books, frameworks. They expanded my awareness, but on their own, they didn’t change my life.

My father passed away a few weeks ago. In this article, I reflect on his battle with ALS, our relationship, his last days, and the transformations that helped me through this period.

In 2018, my life seemed amazing. But I was depressed.

Through a moment of awakening, my awareness grew rapidly. But I hadn’t yet integrated this awareness. I didn’t have the tools to make sense of it. Life got a lot harder before it got easier.

We’re on muddy ground.

What I mean is, the thing about personal transformation that makes it so tricky is that we’re constantly on muddy ground.